Fans and Fangs
by Bloody Toxic Penguins
Summary: The Sharingan can see through any illusion, but it failed to see through the powerfully free spirit of one woman, that would for ever haunt the greatest prodigy the Uchiha clan had ever produced.  ItaHana drabbles
1. Chapter 1

**Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto**

**Dedication: Melioko for beta duties for Sacrament of the Moon enjoy ^^**

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It all began when she shoved him down the hill while they were playing in the playground of the Academy. It wasn't exactly playing on either of their parts, but it was the only excuse the instructors could give to their very disgruntled parents.

Itachi knew that the young Inuzuka heiress didn't like him. In fact she loathed him, constantly glaring at him as the other girls squealed and swooned over him; shoving gifts he didn't really want. He logically concluded that his popularity was the reason she shoved him down the hill, either that or she honestly didn't like him. When he finished tumbling down, he stared back up at her, black eyes filled with annoyance and bewilderment.

Hana had her hands on her hips, her feet shoulder width apart and a fierce scowl on her tattooed face. Her three ninja-dogs at her side, one was hiding in fright, another was sniffing at a rock, while the third was snarling at him. "Take that you copy-eye freak!" Hana shouted down at him, while the snarling pup barked in agreement. The Inuzuka girl gave him one last violent glare before marching off.

Itachi blinked, once, twice, thrice before he was attacked by his fan club. All wailing at the top of their lungs, asking if he was okay and if he wanted them to beat up that "stupid dog-girl" among other things. Amidst the confusion of his so-called adoring fans, he slipped away, puzzled by the treatment of the Inuzuka heiress. He wouldn't go so far as to say he was use to the endless positive attention from the opposite sex, but to have a girl inflict physical harm upon his person with malicious intent behind it, was, for the most part, rather new to the prodigious Uchiha heir. And Itachi was like a cat, he only felt comfortable when he knew everything about his surroundings.

Which is why he found himself at the door of the head house of the Inuzuka clan, staring up at the face of Inuzuka Tsume, who was scowling at him, her large wolf-hound Kuromaru behind her, with his fangs bared. "Whaddya want Uchiha?" Tsume barked.

"I would like to speak with Hana-san, please," Itachi replied politely.

"What do you want with my daughter?"

"I would like to have a conversation with her, Tsume-sama."

"Why?"

"I want to discuss the matter of her pushing me down a hill."

Tsume arched her brow, "Are you going to yell at her? Drag her to your father?"

"No, Tsume-sama, I would just like to have a civil conversation with her on the matter," Itachi replied, his expression neutral, though his eyes held annoyance. He never liked talking a lot, and a lot of talking got on his nerves. Tsume sighed through her nose.

"Hana!" she shouted over her shoulder. "Hana, some boy is here to talk to you! Get your scrawny ass down here!"

There was a thunder of steps and in a few short moments the Inuzuka girl appeared, with flush cheeks and fly-away strains of hair framing her oval face.

"Yes, Mom?" Hana looked at her mother. Tsume jutted her chin at Itachi before leaving. Hana placed her hands on either side of the door, eyes narrowing. "Oh," her voice was icy, "its you."

Itachi gulped and for the first time in his life, he was at a lost on what to do and allowed his carefully placed façade of indifference slip long enough for Hana to read him. This totally wasn't good. The young Uchiha fixed his dark eyes on his feet, which were suddenly much more interesting than the girl before him. Itachi was thankful his dark bangs hid his face, for his cheeks were tinted with a rosy blush. His mind was reeling at the sudden realization that Hana was a girl.

A rather beautiful girl.

She wasn't like the girls in his fan club, all shallow and so concern about their appearance and what others thought about them. They were more focused on stupid things, than on their ninjutsu.

Hana...well, she was different.

She was rough and rugged. Gentle with animals and had a homely feel about her, but she was still a loud, in-your-face Inuzuka. A tomboy that loved a good brawl. She opinionated and outspoken, and the guts to back up her boats. And, unlike the other girls, she wasn't afraid of him nor worshiped him.

"What do you want?" Hana asked, not pleased that the Uchiha boy was on her door step.

"Why did you push me?" Itachi asked, regaining his indifferent façade. Hana pursed her lips together.

"Because," she squared her shoulders, "you aren't all that great. I mean, anyone can throw shuriken like you do if they just tried to put a bit more effort into the task oppose to going gaga over you."

"Hn."

"Plus, the Sharingan is stupid also. All it does is copy jutsu. At least I have a useful ability. I can track people via their scent and the Aburame clan utilizes their beetles. The Uchiha and the Hyuga look down upon the other clans because they don't have some fancy dancy kekkei genkai dojutsu! Well," she marched up to him and jabbed him in the chest with her index finger, "Inuzuka, Aburame, Yamanaka, Nara, and Akimichi are ten times better than Uchiha and Hyuga! Cause we fight without depending on some stupid dojutsu or kekkei genkai! We make up our own ninjutsu and trump all of your stupid kekkei genkai crap!"

Itachi narrowed his eyes, "Is that the best argument you can come up with?"

Hana scowled. "So what if it is! Gonna call me stupid?"

"No," he shook his head.

"Then what do you want?"

"I want to know why you pushed me."

"I told you! Because you're a stupid copy-eye freak!"

Itachi chuckled.

"What's so funny?"

"Hn," he looked at the sky, "I must be heading home," he smiled cryptically at her, "it was nice talking with you Hana-san," Itachi bowed to her before leaving.

* * *

Itachi left Hana alone for a month, pretending like she never had crossed paths with him. Once the month was up, he did everything in his power to subtly annoy the girl. Which was easy enough to do, since he just gave attention to his adoring fans and watched her reaction. Itachi knew that Hana indeed had a rather large crush on him.

Itachi was surprised when Hana confronted him after school one day. "You jerk!" her idea of confronting him was to punch him in the face, in front of his adoring fans.

The girls glared at Hana. "Do you want us to beat her up for you Itachi-kun?" the ringleader asked.

"No," Itachi grabbed Hana's arm, tightly, "I'll talk to her," he said and dragged the Inuzuka girl off.

Hana glowered at him, once they were safe in the forest. "Okay, admit it," he looked at her. Hana frowned, crossing her arms over her chest, her eyes fixed on something other than the smirking Uchiha brat.

"Admit what?" Hana asked.

"That you like me."

"I don't like an arrogant snob like you!"

"Hn."

"I don't!" Hana screeched, a blush tinting her tattooed cheeks. "I mean who could ever like an ass like you!"

Itachi shrugged, blinking calmly.

"Stop staring at me like that!"

"Hn."

"Stop staring or I'm gonna smack ya!"

Itachi only blinked. Hana snorted like an angry bull. "I mean it!" she shouted.

Itachi allowed a light smirk to grace his lips. Hana snarled before slapping him, but her attack never connected for he grabbed her wrist, his obsidian eyes twinkling, before pulling her into a chaste kiss.

Hana blinked.

Itachi blinked.

They both quickly looked away, blushing furiously. "Meet me here...tomorrow?" Itachi asked.

"Sure," Hana then punched him in the gut.

"What was that for?"

"This," she then kissed his cheek, before walking off.

Itachi from then on gave up on trying to understand the opposite sex.

* * *

**OMFG!**

**Itachi is so epic fail! **

**I'm so sorry Itachi-kun! T.T**

**I haven't written him in six months, so its only natural that he's totally epic fail. **

**I just felt like writing ItaHana. They are so adorable! **

**R'n'R**

**Sanguinary Toxicity**


	2. No More Pets

**Naruto (c) Masashi Kishimoto**

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"I think we should get a cat," Uchiha Itachi said, one bright and sunny morning at breakfast. He was reading the classified ads in his morning newspaper and his eye happen to catch an image of adorable kittens at someone's home.

"No," Hana growled, eying her husband as she tried to get their three-year-old and only child, Shiba, to eat her breakfast. The little girl was more interested in feeding the slices of pancakes to her mother awaiting dogs under the table than putting her own breakfast into her mouth.

"Why not? Sasuke and I had a few cats growing up?" Itachi blinked.

"Itachi, look around," she waved her hand at their countryside home. They were lucky they had such a nice house out in this little country town or Konoha, where Hana worked part-time as a vet and Itachi worked as a lawyer. "We have three dogs, two birds, a goldfish—"

"Mr. Bubbles!" Shiba declared happily as she clapped her hands at the mention of the goldfish. Itachi gifted his daughter a warm smile, ignoring Hana's death glare.

"A ferret, three horses, and twenty-six chickens!"

"And a rooster," Itachi added.

"You know," Hana folded her arms over her chest, "my mother was right about you being a pain in the butt."

"Must you bring up your mother?" Itachi rolled his eyes and hid his face in the newspaper, "That woman hates me."

"She doesn't hate you, she just thinks I could've done better than you. And she insists on knowing why we didn't move into Tokyo."

"You wanted to live in the countryside," Itachi bit out, getting defensive, "so I looked for a nice cozy house that was in the countryside!"

"I know," Hana glared at him, "but my mother thinks that you're rolling in cash and can't understand why you refuse to live in Tokyo."

"My family," Itachi's eyes narrowed, "that's why I refuse to live in Tokyo or in Osaka for that matter. At least I didn't go extreme and move to the US like Sasuke did."

"True," Hana nodded, "I'd hate to live in the US."

"But you could've had a ranch in Wyoming," Itachi pointed out. Hana glared at him.

"Don't tempt me with that!" she hissed.

"Why? Its your dream isn't it?"

"I have Shiba and you to look after!"

"Oh, like I need to be looked after, I'm a grown man koishii, I don't need my little wife to mollycoddle me," he downed his orange juice before standing up. He walked around and hugged Hana from behind, "that's why I gave you a beautiful little girl. You can mollycoddle Shiba-chan." Itachi kissed Hana's head.

"Kitty?" Shiba looked up at her father.

"Yes, Daddy's gonna get a kitty for you."

"No!" Hana pulled away from her husband and stood up, "Daddy is not getting a kitty."

"I wanna kitty!" Shiba declared. "Are they soft?"

"Oh, very soft," Itachi went on, ignoring his wife.

"Itachi! I said no cats! We have enough animals! I don't need to be taking care of anymore!"

"Get Shiba to help you," Itachi shrugged.

"She's three, you idiot!"

"Mommy, what is an idiot?" Shiba asked.

"Your father."

"Daddy?" Shiba blinked.

"Now, now Hana," Itachi chided, "don't go telling Shiba bad words."

"Get going! Otherwise Kisame is gonna take that client you've been wanting."

"Kisame will never do anything like that. He knows me to well," Itachi gave sly smirk before leaving. Shiba looked at her mother, her big black eyes round and wide. She didn't know what a kitten was but her father had assured her it was soft. So, it must be something really wonderful.

"Mommy what's a kitten?" Shiba asked, her eyes boring holes into her mother.

"Mendokusei," Hana rubbed her forehead. "I'm gonna kill your father."

Shiba's eyes grew wide, she didn't know what kill was, but it must be bad. "No! Don't kill Daddy!"

"Shiba," Hana smiled sweetly at the girl's innocents before scooping her up. "Did you give your pancakes to the doggies again?"

"Yep!" Shiba grinned. Hana sighed, a small chuckle escaping her lips.

"Shiba," Hana kissed her daughter's cheek, before squeezing her tightly. She was so amazed that this little girl could give her so much joy in life. Despite Itachi's past, despite his family history, despite everything, Hana wouldn't trade her life for anything.

"Mommy?" Shiba asked softly.

"Hmm?"

"Down."

"Okay, okay," Hana set her daughter down and the toddler hugged the dogs. "Ichiro, Nishi, Sanyu," Hana looked at the three gray dogs, "watch Shiba, I'm going to do my chores okay?"

The dogs whined, wagging their tails happily before focusing the attention on the little girl. Hana smiled, glad that her dogs were well trained and could watch Shiba while she was busy with her chores.

* * *

Hana groaned as she rubbed her forehead, glad that all the outdoor animals were taken care off, the eggs collected (and the rooster taught a lesson with the trusty broom), the dogs, ferret, and birds fed, helped Shiba feed the goldfish, and was about to sit down and relax with her daughter when the phone rang. Two of the three dogs looked up at the phone, while the other nudged Shiba away from the ferret's cage. Hana sighed as she picked up, going about in making Shiba's lunch. "Hello, Hana speaking."

_"Hana-chan! I need your help!" _

"N-Naruto! What happened? Did something happened to Zenji's turtle?" Hana asked, setting down the bowl of applesauce.

_"No! Its Hinata-chan!"_

"Hinata? What's wrong with Hinata?"

_"She's in labour." _

"Labour? Naruto! I can't deliver a baby!"

_"Babies. We're having twins." _

"Naruto take her to a hospital right now!"

_"She doesn't want to move, says it hurts too much." _

"Pick her up and carry her you ass!"

_"Can't you come and deliver the babies?"_

"If it was one, I probably could but not twins. Take her to the hopsital."

_"The car's also outta gas." _

"Naruto..." Hana could've believe it.

_"Don't blame me! I didn't know she was going to go into labour today! And you've delivered babies before!" _

"I've whelped pups before yes, but the bitch kinda knows how to give birth. Technically, humans do too but we're stupid like that."

_"Just come!" _

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Hana shouted, "Just keep her on the bed and tell Hoshi to watch Zenji. I'll be right over," Hana said.

_"Thank you Hana-chan,"_ Naruto hung up.

Hana growled and rubbed her face. "Shiba," Hana walked over to her daughter and scooped her up and walked to the playpen and set her down in it. "You be good okay," she then grabbed the phone and dialed Itachi's cell.

_"Hello?"_

"Itachi, tell me you are on your way home?"

_"I'm just turning the corner and I see the driveway, why?" _

"Hinata's in labour and Naruto doesn't have any gas in his car, I'm going to go over there and if possible take her to the hospital."

"Okay, I'm in the driveway right now."

"Thank goodness," Hana breathed a sigh of relief, "I see your car, I'm leaving right now, take care of Shiba, she's in her playpen and the dogs are watching her."

_"Right, love you." _

"I love you too," Hana smiled before hanging up the phone and rushy out of the house, passing Itachi on his way in with a closed cardboard box. She eyed it, but didn't say anything as she hopped into her beat up Toyota pick up truck and drove off. Itachi watched his wife leave from the window, before smirking mischievously.

"Shiba, Daddy's home!" Itachi called, knowing full well his daughter could easily climb out of her playpen. He heard a soft thump and the whine of the dogs which was followed by the pitter-patter of little feet and his three-year-old little girl came out, grinning from ear to ear, her brown wavy hair curling cutely around her chubby little cheeks.

"Daddy!" she opened her arms wide and giggled as he scooped her up, then tossed her into the air. "Again! Again Daddy again!" Shiba declared, laughing when Itachi tossed her again.

"I have a surprise for you," he said, hugging her close.

"A surprise?" Shiba's eyes grew wide as he set her down and placed the cardboard box before her. He shook it slightly just enough to cause the box to begin mewing in annoyance. The dogs flicked their ears in the direction of the box, and trotted over to sniff it. Nishi and Sanyu began to wag their tails at the prospect of new play things while Ichiro looked up and barked softly at Itachi, almost as if he was warning the man that he was in trouble.

Shiba squealed in delight, clapping her hands and opened the box. Only to melt at the sight of the two kittens: one orange and one black.

The orange one was mewing unhappily and was trying to get out of the box, while the black one was curled up yet awake, looking between Shiba and the orange one. The black kitten appeared to be unhappy with the orange kitten's meowing.

"Kyaa! Dank you Daddy! Dank you!" Shiba squealed and gently pet the kittens. "Do I get to name dem?"

"Of course," Itachi smiled.

"Uhm..." Shiba frowned, trying to think of a good name for the two kittens. Sanyu poked his nose into the box, and sniffing the kittens. The orange mewed, pawing gently at the dog's nose, while the black hissed in annoyance. Sanyu didn't care and began licking the orange kitten, who ironically seemed to enjoy it. Sanyu went to lick the black kitten but, the catling had other's idea and swatted the dog's nose. Sanyu scrambled back yelping in surprise and pain only to run behind Itachi, giving a horrified look at the box.

Shiba giggled and pulled the orange kitten out of the box. "Sunbeam!" she declared holding the kitten up for her father to see.

"Yes, I see," Itachi chuckled. The black kitten looked up and jumped out of the box, licking his paw as if it was soiled, one eye trained on Sanyu. The dog coward and ran behind Nishi, who boldly went up to the black kitten. The little cat looked at the dog and swatted him, arching his back and hissing. Nishi yelped and stumbled over Sanyu and the two dogs hid behind Ichiro.

Shiba blinked only to look up at her father. Then looked down at the kitten staring off Ichiro. The dog sniffed the cat and the kitten swatted his nose. Ichiro yelped, stumbling away and hiding behind the couch with the other two dogs. "My, my, it looks like this little guy is quite the princeling," Itachi scooped up the kitten.

"Princess!" Shiba shouted. The black kitten glared at the little girl as if trying to convince her not to name him something that girly.

"Very well, he shall be named Princess," Itachi laughed. "Your mother is going to kill me though," Itachi chuckled.

* * *

Itachi stirred when he felt body over him. "Mmm, Hana," he muttered softly pulling her down on top of him. He kissed her neck, sucking gently on the pulse.

"Uchiha Itachi!" Hana growled.

"Yes sweet-pea?" Itachi asked opening his eyes.

"Cats! After I told you no!" Hana snarled.

"The black one is Princess and the orange one is Sunbeam. And Princess has your dogs buffaloed," Itachi chuckled.

"Even Ichiro?"

"Yes, even Ichiro, I was surprised since Ichiro is the tough one," Itachi muttered.

"We are getting rid of those cats!"

"How was Hinata?"

"It was a false alarm," Hana growled. "It was just cramps, I took her to the doctor's anyways and left Neji with her cause Naruto need to watch Hoshi and Zenji."

"That's good," Itachi chuckled, and rolled over taking Hana with him. "And we are keeping the cats."

"But!"

"Please," he gave her his best pouty face. Hana sighed.

"On one condition," she said.

"What?"

"No more kids," she growled.

"Very well," he kissed her.

* * *

**Yay! ItaHana. **

**As you can see Itachi and Hana have a lot of pets, and this is kinda based off of my home. I have seven dogs, three cats, fish, horses and chickens. And yes my cats have two of my dogs, Shorty and Monty buffaloed. **

**Sunbeam and Princess...well their personalities are based off...well, you gotta guess. But I'll give you a guess.**

**"Hn."**

**"Dattebayo!"**

**Anyways, that's it. **

**R'n'R**

**Sanguinary Toxicity**


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